


in my dreams you were a

by x (ordinary)



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Circus, Alternate Universe - Dreams, M/M, Mental Coercion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 09:18:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4601400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ordinary/pseuds/x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You dream of worlds untold. You dream of horrors not yet done. You dream beyond the confines of a blue velvet car, and he's always there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 0.

When you lay your weary head down to sleep, you are born anew in the dark.

You dream of worlds untold, of horrors already complete and not yet done. You dream beyond the confines of a blue velvet car, and he's  _always there_.

Without fail, they carry you away to another life, another time, another  _world_ \-- and each one of them clicks into place, as if it belongs.

Adrift in a sea of nothing, your breath hitches. The show's about to start. You feel the pull of another you as the film rolls. Just for a night, you slip into the shoes of someone else. Just for a little while.

(What could it hurt?)


	2. i. the circus

All around you the crowd is abuzz, the throng of people pressing in tight as you make your way to an unknown destination. The air's sticky sweet with cotton candy and caramel corn, and it smells and tastes and feels like home in the muggy dusk.  The Inaba Circus has always been where you belong.

Down in the bones of it, anticipation is whipcord taut. There's murmurs that the _whole show_ is sold out, the rumor passed from one carnie to the next until it's confirmed as truth. Their adrenaline becomes yours, and you hurry backstage, eager to put on a show.

You wind and turn through the labyrinth that is the big top dressing room, unable to help watching the ordinary become  _extra_ , and avert your eyes. Make up and costumes are just that, but to witness the transformation takes away some of the mystery, and you have nothing but respect for the show and its performers. 

For the  _magic_ that's about to be unveiled, thick on your tongue and alive in your heart. You've had a lot of homes but none of them felt like it. None of them had _family_. But Inaba welcomed you in with open arms, pulling you into the fold before you could protest.

The thrum of the crowd awaits, and through the red and white striped fabric, you can tell the big tent is illuminated with a thousand lights. Over the speakerphone, Rise sings her praise of the shows to come, and introduces the first performers on trapeze. Yukiko and Chie kiss once before the show-- tradition-- and leave through parted curtains to bare their souls before a thousand strong.

The lights dim and they _ascend_ , clad in costumes of their own design, becoming creatures ethereal and divine. Crimson and green both adorned with gold, becoming dragons of the night.

A stage hand comes to drag you to your vanity, and the audience roars their approval as their show unfolds, the music pulsing sharp in your veins. You're up next, heart caught in your throat. Every night, you're surrounded by those that are larger than life, and are reminded that you are painfully, painfully ordinary.

Every night, you risk your life for the show, and you can't remember the last time you felt so alive.

On cue, your partner in crime appears, teeth glinting in the dim. Adachi is _dangerous_ and there are  _rumors_ the others sometimes whisper about him, but he's always been as good to you as he can manage. He squeezes your shoulder as you pull on your costume, a warm hand spread between your shoulder blades, voice low enough that only you can hear. 

"Good luck out there, Souji-kun." His breath ghosts against your ear, a promise and a threat you're inclined to unravel. 

You look at him in the mirror, at the kohl smudged around your eyes and the red high on your cheeks, half-dressed. The din of the crowd quiets down into nothing in comparison to the pulse of his heart, steady as a drum. He's not nervous at all. 

"You too, Adachi-san," you reply, and the drag of a knife across your lowermost right rib sings electric. You grin as it drags just enough to make a line of red.

"Let's give them a _show_ ," he says, and you couldn't agree more.


	3. ii. angels & demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting: Waimea Canyon in Kauai, Hawaii. http://www.hawaiimagazine.com/images/content/Facebook_ohana_poll_results_favorite_natural_wonders_of_Hawaii/WaimeaCanyon1.jpg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this gets very bizarre.

You blink once, twice, and you're in a crowd again, this time surrounded by tourists eager for the canyon view they've crossed oceans to see. They flock towards it, moving like sheep in a herd. Something is pulling them there-- Something like you, but _stronger_. You turn to follow their collective eyes, your own intent with a quiet curiosity.

What _is_ he?

(Something new. Something  _exciting_.)

Like a moth to the flame, you're reeled in by his energy, honing in on its spark. It's not hard at all: his influence is an ichorous thing, oozing outwards into the whole valley and spreading itself across the island like a poisonous haze.

You remember, then, that this power is what caught your interest (your _hunger_ ) to begin with, why you've surfaced from the other world at all. The land of dreaming normally suits you just fine, the dreams of mortals abundant enough to cut your teeth on that you never want for more.

Until now.

You edge closer to the canyon, stretching out your power towards the churning riptide he represents, aware that the force of it might pull you under at a moment's notice.

 

And his  _wings_  are the first thing you see, stretched out huge behind him. For a moment, they seem vast enough to blot out the very sun, and his power expands in a whirling flame, white-hot and it's _his_ dream, to watch over the humans as if he were their god rather than just a beacon to the blind and hopeful. You blink to clear the vision from your mind, growing curious at his arrogance. It's atypical of his design, and his desire is blasphemous.

Perhaps he's fortunate that it is only _you_ he's caught in his web, and not something bigger, something eager to punish him for his thoughts.

Humans walk through him to get to the ledge, and you realize that he's both here and not at the same time. He's in hundreds of locations across the island, and not a one of the humans see him, of course. They almost never see things like you and him, beings enshrouded in fog, always existing half a step out of their world. You move across their plane of existence in little more than a haze,  waiting and watching. Sometimes, you gently nudge mortals towards one decision or another before you visit their dreams, to run your fingers along their silver linings and coax them to the forefront. 

In the grand scheme of things, you are  _weak._  Weak to temptation, weak to your temptations, and he's so warm and welcoming, his power almost  _beckoning_ you to his side. Tourists fall into line: they're eager to hop past the safety fence and get closer to a taste of oblivion, marching onward until their toes touch the rocky edge.

Some want that  _one_  good picture of the cliff and the rivers below. Others lean over the edge, precariously balanced on the precipice. And yet others still think about what the ledge  _means_ , and how easy it would be to take a step over that edge, how it would answer their problems and their prayers.

You know you're not supposed to _fraternize_ , but you've always been so  _curious._  It can't hurt if you just get a little closer, right?

It's an old cliff, eroded by time and human wear and tear. Every human that passes over it brings the possibility of it crumbling, and suddenly, you are peering over it yourself, a hand hot like a brand on the back of your neck.

"Ahh," he says, lilting and coy, "what do we have  _here_?" His touch sparks against your skin, a firestorm. You are colliding forces clearly not meant to be so close, and tendrils of cold twine between his fingers and  _push_ , until you're free and can stumble away, eyes wide. You'd been so  _careful_.

"Nothing." The cliff starts to crumble beneath your feet, a singular rock tumbling to the depths below. " _No one_."

He shakes his head, and the bright of his smile is too-wide. Every tooth is illuminated, and behind his head is the sun, casting his face in darkness. "You're not supposed to be here," he says, cold. "This violates all sorts of treaties, you know?"

You _didn't_. The grimace on your face gives you away, and his laugh is sharp like a death toll bell. A breeze picks up around you both, whipping up into a frenzy, and you don't know which one of you is responsible. Maybe both.

"I don't want to fight. I was...I was just _curious_." You back away until you can spread your own wings, fanning them out behind you defensively. You drop low into a defensive stance, flapping them nervously.

"Humans have a phrase for that, did you know?" He takes a step forward, the heat of him so intense it's nearly infernal. Maybe it's more. " _Curiosity killed the cat_." 

You flinch. Up close, you can tell that he's _old_ , ancient and primordial and  _starving_ no matter what sort of human energy he feeds on. Wetting your lips, you steady yourself, forcing your limbs to go lax. "Lucky for us, then, that I'm not a cat." 

And then you  _fall_ , letting your wings flare out to catch the wind, knowing that he'll be hot on your tail in moments. A howl of fury echoes through the canyon and you can't help but grin, diving down low to pick up speed. You are foolish, true, but you've been pursued by enough angels to know not to look back, lest the glory of their true-shape stun you into stillness. The ground is rapidly approaching, your clawed wings skating through the trees as your momentum builds with your speed.

 _Hold still, brat,_ he hisses, and it transmits across the sky and through your mind like clapping thunder. The skies darken and he gains on you, the glare of his halo breaching both edges of the horizon, visible out of the corner of your eyes. His four wings beating are close enough to feel, hot on your heels. 

But a taste of his dreams had been enough to fill you to gluttonous standards. You turn his power against him and propel yourself upwards, rocketing upwards until you fly past the clifftop, and keep climbing. If you had a heart, it would be hammering in your chest. The taste of ozone is all around, heavy against your tongue as he finally  _collides_ with you--

In that moment, as brief as it is eternal, you learn  _so much_. He is Adnachiel. He is older than you thought. He is power-hungry and won't rest until the world settles into his palm, until the regime is toppled and he sits atop it as the new king. And just as you've come to know him, he knows  _you_ in turn. A baku turned wild, small and a scrapper. A demon that feeds on dreams grandiose, and his are the largest you've ever seen.

Adnachiel laughs, the sound of it distorted through his true-shape, interlocking rings whirring so fast you can barely see the countless eyes that stud them. You wrench yourself away and it  _hurts,_ the tendrils of his power now wrapping around your own, constricting.

 _Where are you going, **demon**? Weren't you  **curious**? _ His angelic wings wrap flap in a fervor, defying all law to pull you into line, like a sun does to its orbiting planets. His holy flame sizzles against your skin, and your own shape changes to try an escape. You shift from the archetypal into your true, a wispy tapir and he laughs, again, booming like thunder.

 _I didn't want this_ , you plead, getting pulled closer and closer to his spinning wheels. You gnash your ghostly teeth, struggling to ecsape his gravitational force.  _I've never seen an angel before._

 _ _What do you think?__  he prompts, as if he hadn't just tapped into your thoughts and accursed soul. As if he doesn't _know_.  _Pretty neat, right?_

 _Yes._ there's no point in lying. 

 _And?_ A thousand yellow eyes burn into the core of you. You think you must be in space, now, hurtling through the void. Time and space are nothing to a being of his power: he could keep you here forever, so long as you're within his pull.  _  
_

You're inhabiting the center of him now, so close to his grace you're salivating, power-crazed and unable to consume that which drives you. You are burning up, the essence of you disintegrating.

**_And I want it_. **

_Okay_ , he says,  _give me your name_. 

You shouldn't. You **shouldn't**. But you do.

_There, was that so hard?_

\--

You're back on the cliff, nothing more than a boy in his school uniform, clad in grey as your chaperone pulls you back from the ledge.

"Careful," he says, chiding, "you know better than that, Yu-kun. That ledge is  _dangerous_. There's a reason why it's permitted. You shitty kids..."

"Of course, Adachi-san," you say, eager to retreat from the danger, and even more eager to regroup with your friends in the parking lot. They crowd around you, and Yosuke is demanding to know what you were  _thinking_. Rise clings to your arm, openly expressing the relief that the others feel too: that you're safe. You're both stupid and brave alike, they say, piling back into the rental car.

But for the life of you, you can't recall how you got to that ledge.

Adachi's fingertips tap against the steering wheel on the whole drive down from the cliff, and the grin he flashes you is secretive and sharp. He reaches across to the passenger seat to lay his hand on the back of your neck in familiar comfort, his fingertips aligning perfectly with the birthmarks on your neck.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i went to waimea in the spring, while it was still foggy and raining every other day. 
> 
> i also saw some idiots climb over the fence to take selfies right on the cliff's edge-- WITH SELFIE STICKS OF COURSE. i was so sure i was gonna see some bro die that day. i'm glad i did not.
> 
> random facts:  
> Adachi is an Ophanim, his true form two interlocking wheels covered in eyes, with four fiery wings. Adnachiel is an angel of november.  
> Yu is a dream eating demon under Mammon, the tenant of greed, who also double as tempters and ensnarers.


End file.
